fool

by jennifer

there is a saying along these lines:
fool me once, shame on you.
fool me twice, shame on me.
shame on me.

i sought him out again. bookstore boy. i called him. i let myself become excited at the prospect of seeing him.
i waited for his call.

when he didn't call saturday, or the rest of the weekend, i thought--surely--he had a legitimate excuse. family emergency. he had to drive home. bookstore emergency. broken fingers. amnesia. i have no idea. but i was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for flaking on our weekend plans.

i believed he'd call by tuesday. it would be a week from our last conversation.
he did not.
nor did he call by the next tuesday.
nor did he call by this past tuesday.

and now it's been three weeks. three weeks and a day, actually.

why did i let him do this to me again?
first time, he was the jerk.
this time, it's all me.