always the bridesmaid

by jennifer

i served as a bridesmaid this weekend at a family wedding.

i don't even want to talk about how many bridesmaid dresses i own. and i certainly do not want to talk about how many times, throughout the evening, a well-meaning aunt or uncle or family friend prodded me with an elbow and said, "you're next." i just muster up as sweet a smile as i can and bite my tongue, because it would seem rude to say, through syrup-y smile, "actually, i'm probably not going to be next. but thanks for noticing!"

because this was a *family* wedding, i didn't anticipate making any love connections, but i do have two stories to tell. don't worry, they're not related (to me or to each other).

bachelor #1: the groomsman
juan was my partner walking down the aisle. tall, shaved head, puppy dog eyes, and chubby cheeks, he was handsome, especially in his tuxedo.

the bride had already told me all about him. apparently when the groom told juan that he was proposing to the bride, juan felt pressured to propose to his girlfriend, who he'd been dating for much longer than the bride and groom had been together.

"amy's going to kill me if she hears that you proposed to [the bride]," juan told the groom.

so the groom and juan went ring shopping together and proposed on the same day to their respective girlfriends.

for various reasons, the bride and amy did not get along. because i'm loyal to the bride, and because i thought he was cute, i therefore felt no guilt flirting with juan.

and opportunities to flirt were in abundance. we were arm in arm at the church. the photographer had us saddle up to each other for a million pictures. put your arm around her! move closer together. pretend you're at prom!

it turns out that juan went to the same college as my best friend. i ask if he was in the same industry as the groom. no, he tells me. he majored a history. worked as a high school teacher.

i feel my eyes widen. "history! that's so great."

what about you? juan tells me that the groom has told him how well i've done in my career (which, by the way, is a total exaggeration).

we talk, we tease. he tells me that during the grand entrance into the reception hall, he is going to twirl and dip me.

i look at him skeptically. "i don't think you're that smooth," i tell him.

he shoots me a mock wounded look.

the wedding coordinator tells us that, after we are presented, we are to snake through the room to the head table.

"snake!" he says. "i love that game. do you ever play that game on your cell phone?"

"no," i say. "what's up with guys and video games? it doesn't matter how old you are! you all love video games."

"it's because we grew up playing video games. it's a generational thing," he says. "any guy you meet from now on is going to play video games." he pauses for a moment before adding, "if he's cool."

"oh!" i say. "if he's cool. should that be how i test to see if any guy i meet from now on is cool?"

"yes!" he says. "you should just ask. 'do you play video games?' that should be the first thing on your check list. and then, does he like history?"

i laugh at how he is clearly referring to himself. "well. all the video game playing history lovers seem to have girlfriends," i tell him.

"maybe you can expand the criteria a little. you can include political science majors," he suggests.

i roll my eyes and laugh as we are about to make our entrance into the reception ballroom.

we touch base every so often during the course of the evening. we talk politics. he's a lefty (thank God!). we talk immigration policy, unions. he tells me that he's become more involved in his union lately, and i have to confess that i love this about him. who will be good candidates for president in 2008.

we also continue to tease and flirt, even though his fiancee is just tables away.

at the end of the night he approaches me and the bride to tell us that some of the groomsmen are going to a bar to have a little afterparty. "tell the bridesmaids," he says to the bride and, ostensibly, to me.

i tell him that i won't be able to make it because i'll be traveling the next day and have yet to pack. but, i tell him, "it was really nice to meet you."

"yeah," he says.

we look at each other for one moment and then he says, "you should email me sometime. to tell me how you're doing. you can get my email address. from the groom. or something."

despite all the flirtation, i'm a little surprised. he has a fiancee.

"why don't you email me," i say, and tell him my email address. "i'll reply."

i wonder if he'll remember the address. but i know that it doesn't matter. in four months, half of these people will be gathered for his wedding.

but at least i won't have to be a bridesmaid again.

story #2 forthcoming...